WAYHO!

woa, it's been a while since i've hit up the bloggerverse.  I guess I'm still technically unemployed, therefore I can still blog about being unemployed. Make sense?  Well, I'm what I like to call a super-sub! I basically sub everyday at the local middle school.  It's awesome.  I was never popular in middle school and now I am! OMG, all the pretty girls wanna hang out with me between classes.  All of the boys give me high fives. WOW, if my 13 year-old self knew this was coming she would be so excited.  Uhhh, I subbed PE for a while and that was fantastic because I wore sweat pants to work. But of course they were brand name sweatpants, like Nike.  If they weren't I wouldn't be popular anymore. That would have been social suicide.  I'm also coaching Field Hockey. Do you think I ever played?... not a single day in my life.  We have one game left and I still don't know ANY of the rules.  I'm coaching basketball at Central Maine Community College. God, it makes me wanna go back so bad.

My recent escapades have been exhausting! Last weekend I had an alumni lacrosse game - in which I scored the first goal... as a defender. Also, it was 12 v 11 so no one was guarding me.  But that's a minor detail.  Then i rushed up to NH to visit my cousin John Mo, where we raged at UNH. And by rage I mean we awkwardly stood in the middle of the party for 2 hours.  Then the next day I carved pumpkins with my future husband. It was gross. Pumpkin guts everywhere.

I have also become a compulsive liar.  Maybe in fear of being stalked.... I introduce myself as someone else at bars.  It's like word vomit, I can't stop the lies from coming out of my mouth.  I say something and I think "wow, that wasn't remotely true."  I've been Douchelle, Michelle, Aquafina, Deseree, Muffy, Agnus, Dominique, Renee, Anastasia.  I've been from Hawaii, Russia, the North Pole, Fuji.  My occupations have varied from dog walker, drug dealer, professional athlete, singer, Denzel Washington's wife, paparazzi.  I've been married, divorced, gay, pregnant, homeless.

It's scary how comfortable and easy these lies have become.  However, I consider it a scientific/sociological experiment as to how the human species reacts to absurd stories.

...also, I wear fanny packs now.  Totally acceptable in maine...